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I prefer being totally sober myself.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Totally
Sober
Prefer

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
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To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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