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I prefer being totally sober myself.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Sober
Prefer
Totally

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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
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