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I prefer being totally sober myself.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Sober
Prefer
Totally

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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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