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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Think
Takes
Variations
Thinking
Land
Repeatedly
Like
Times
Variation
Take
Joke
Different
Jokes
Trying
Usually
Really
Months
Good
Minutes
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
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