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Come cook food with me and do nothing.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Cook
Cooks
Food
Come
Nothing

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
Aziz Ansari
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
Aziz Ansari
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
Aziz Ansari
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
Aziz Ansari
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
Aziz Ansari
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As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
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I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
Aziz Ansari