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Come cook food with me and do nothing.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Nothing
Cook
Cooks
Food
Come

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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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