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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Cook
Cooks
Food
Come
Nothing
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
If it's possible, I binge. There are other shows, like 'The Americans' and 'Game of Thrones,' I watch and have to wait a week.
Aziz Ansari
When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari
I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
Aziz Ansari
Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
Aziz Ansari
I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari
Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
Aziz Ansari
My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
Aziz Ansari
I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
Aziz Ansari
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
Aziz Ansari
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
Aziz Ansari
As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari