Quote

The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
English
Four
Words
Language
Wore
Sweetest

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I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
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You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
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