Quote

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

Aziz Ansari

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Dreams
Influence
Comedy
Funny
True
Dream
Come
Drunk
Make
Shooting

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

Image
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
Image
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari
Image
Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
Image
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
Image
When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
Image
I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
Image
Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari
Image
I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
Aziz Ansari
Image
You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
Aziz Ansari
Image
No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
Image
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Aziz Ansari
Image
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
Image
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
Image
In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
Image
You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
Aziz Ansari
Image
Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Aziz Ansari
Image
Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
Aziz Ansari
Image
Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
Aziz Ansari
Image
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
Image
You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari