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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Dreams
Influence
Comedy
Funny
True
Dream
Come
Drunk
Make
Shooting

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
Aziz Ansari
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
Aziz Ansari
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
Aziz Ansari
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
Aziz Ansari
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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
Aziz Ansari
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You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
Aziz Ansari
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
Aziz Ansari
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
Aziz Ansari
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
Aziz Ansari
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari