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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Comedy
Funny
True
Dream
Come
Drunk
Make
Shooting
Dreams
Influence

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
Aziz Ansari
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
Aziz Ansari
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
Aziz Ansari
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
Aziz Ansari
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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
Aziz Ansari
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I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
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As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Aziz Ansari