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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Dreams
Influence
Comedy
Funny
True
Dream
Come
Drunk
Make
Shooting

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
Aziz Ansari
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
Aziz Ansari
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
Aziz Ansari
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Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
Aziz Ansari
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
Aziz Ansari
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari
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As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari