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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Make
Shooting
Dreams
Influence
Comedy
Funny
True
Dream
Come
Drunk

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
Aziz Ansari
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
Aziz Ansari
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
Aziz Ansari
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
Aziz Ansari
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
Aziz Ansari
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari