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I tell myself that after four children my belly is already so stretched and flabby that I have to do origami to get my pants buttoned. One more pregnancy and I'd be doomed to elastic waists for the rest of my life.

Ayelet Waldman

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Ayelet Waldman
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: December 11
Journalist
Lawyer
Novelist
Short Story Writer
Writer
Jerusalem
Middle East
Life
Belly
Doomed
Waists
Pants
Buttoned
Already
Flabby
Rest
Origami
Four
Elastic
Tell
Stretched
Children
Pregnancy

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Most writers spend their lives standing a little apart from the crowd, watching and listening and hoping to catch that tiny hint of despair, that sliver of malice, that makes them think, 'Aha, here is the story.'
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I'm sure there are people who survive tragedy without humor, but I've never met any of them. Nor would I be particularly interested in writing about them if I did meet them.
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Whatever my intentions, whatever the truth of my claim, I had no business giving a lecture to a total stranger.
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You know, I feel like my job is to write a book. Then filmmakers come and they make a movie. And they're two really different art forms.
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The thing I believe in most in the world is my own fallibility, so I am willing to believe that I may be wrong too.
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I pity the young woman who will attempt to insinuate herself between my mama's boy and me. I sympathize with the monumental nature of her task. It will take a crowbar, two bulldozers and half a dozen Molotov cocktails to pry my Oedipus and me loose from one another.
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Look, if you ask a child, 'Would you rather have a fulfilled mother or a stay-at-home Sylvia Plath,' they'll pick Sylvia Plath every time. But I think it's really important that children don't feel their parents' emotional lives depend on their success.
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I was a lesbian for a semester at Wesleyan - it was a graduation requirement.
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I've only ever been interested in drugs as therapeutic tools.
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So many women today have become so focused on their children, they've developed these romantic entanglements with their children's lives, and the husbands are secondary. They're left out. And the romantic focus is on the children.
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There's nothing I find quite as annoying as the phrase 'I told you so.'
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I tend to approach giving interviews with the same sense of circumspection and restraint as I approach my writing. That is to say, virtually none. When asked what I made of blogs like my own, blogs written by parents about their children, I said, 'A blog like this is narcissism in its most obscene flowering.'
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Courage is impulsive it is narcissism tempered with nihilism.
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The first inkling my husband had that I was thinking about suicide was when he checked my blog.
Ayelet Waldman
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There is no fundamental truth and there's nothing to be connected to: I just believe that [LSD] makes you feel better.
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What I do with my kids is - and I think they probably do ignore us - is No Alcohol. If they're drunk they will be grounded for time immemorial.
Ayelet Waldman
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Why is it that loving something provides such little protection from betrayal?
Ayelet Waldman
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Gym class was, of course, where the strongest, best-looking kids were made captains and chose us spazzes last. More important, it was where the figures of supposed authority allowed them to do so. Forget the work our parents did molding our minds and values. Everything fell apart as soon as we put on those maroon polyester gym suits.
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Nothing makes me roll my eyes faster than a Coexist bumper sticker.
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In every union roles are assumed, some traditional, some not. My husband used to pay his own bills, I used to call my own repairman. But as marriages progress, you surrender areas of your own competence, often without even knowing it.
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