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I felt a bottomless sadness. So completely alone. Like one of my stuffed animals at home that I was too old for now, that sat on the shelf in my closet, mashed against the back wall.
Augusten Burroughs
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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Home
Sat
Back
Sadness
Mashed
Like
Animals
Bottomless
Completely
Stuffed
Wall
Shelf
Animal
Closet
Alone
Closets
Felt
Shelves
More quotes by Augusten Burroughs
And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
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There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.
Augusten Burroughs
The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths.
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Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.
Augusten Burroughs
I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.
Augusten Burroughs
I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page.
Augusten Burroughs
What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
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I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day for a month. I was on the masthead, so I tend to get recognized a lot, and in weird places. It's always flattering, and it's always odd. It's always at the worst possible time.
Augusten Burroughs
It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
Augusten Burroughs
Most of us have love in our lives. Most of us love other people are are ourselves loved by others. But make no mistake: you are alone in the world. You were born alone, even if you were born conjoined. And you die alone, unable to bring a single person with you.
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We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.
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My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.
Augusten Burroughs
Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
Augusten Burroughs
Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.
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As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?
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Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
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If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.
Augusten Burroughs
Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
Augusten Burroughs
Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for me to accept it. To accept all the embarrassment and the shame so I don't feel like I used to.
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The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.
Augusten Burroughs
