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My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Subconscious
Control
Doe
Writing

More quotes by Augusten Burroughs

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I felt a bottomless sadness. So completely alone. Like one of my stuffed animals at home that I was too old for now, that sat on the shelf in my closet, mashed against the back wall.
Augusten Burroughs
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I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in.
Augusten Burroughs
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Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.
Augusten Burroughs
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My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.
Augusten Burroughs
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If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.
Augusten Burroughs
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God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was sincere. I knew that God existed as the Correct Answer inside my chest.
Augusten Burroughs
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All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know.
Augusten Burroughs
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What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
Augusten Burroughs
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
Augusten Burroughs
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There's a lot about being A Writer that has nothing to do with writing. That's one thing I've discovered. You've got to meet with the sales force, and you've got to have all these luncheons, and be gracious, and you've got to give a lot of presentations and you've got to give a lot of speeches, and you've got to be on tour.
Augusten Burroughs
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He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa.
Augusten Burroughs
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It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What then?
Augusten Burroughs
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I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.
Augusten Burroughs
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Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them.
Augusten Burroughs
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Do not wait for the healing to arrive. It will never come. The holes will never leave or be filled with anything at all. But holes are interesting things.
Augusten Burroughs
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I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband.
Augusten Burroughs
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My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.
Augusten Burroughs
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But then, look at me. My brain is incorrectly formed, and I'm shaped like a tube. Plus, I'm an alcoholic, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, was raised in a cult and have no education. So, really, if you think about it, the only thing that separates me from the guy with the stinky foot and no teeth is a book deal and some cologne.
Augusten Burroughs
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I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it.
Augusten Burroughs
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Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.
Augusten Burroughs