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I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.
Augusten Burroughs
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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Losing
Destined
Four
Accident
Things
Village
Accidents
Drunk
Wreck
Ridiculous
Wrecks
East
Limbs
Grateful
Bus
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It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
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My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.
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I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.
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In the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the clouds from the splinters of what used to be their living room, it was over.
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My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to what resided between his lines.
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Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
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I don't really think of my blog as a real blog. It's a lame blog. It's more like my when-the-mood-strikes update, or smoke signal.
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Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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I'm always prepared for the worst.
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I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what was going on in the present.
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My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.
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Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw everybody else. You're not a bottle of Valium.
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Do not wait for the healing to arrive. It will never come. The holes will never leave or be filled with anything at all. But holes are interesting things.
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Most of us have love in our lives. Most of us love other people are are ourselves loved by others. But make no mistake: you are alone in the world. You were born alone, even if you were born conjoined. And you die alone, unable to bring a single person with you.
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Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.
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This is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you.
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You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.
Augusten Burroughs
We haven't slept together. But we've napped
Augusten Burroughs