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I don't really think of my blog as a real blog. It's a lame blog. It's more like my when-the-mood-strikes update, or smoke signal.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Think
Signal
Thinking
Lame
Like
Signals
Strikes
Smoke
Mood
Update
Real
Updates
Really
Blog

More quotes by Augusten Burroughs

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It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What then?
Augusten Burroughs
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I think people might think, oh, I don't want to approach the big famous author because it's embarrassing, but then they think for two seconds about it and realize, this is, like, a toilet bowl reader.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
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You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.
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When I first thought of being a writer I had visions of stacks of books in stores with my name on them, that sort of thing. But I never imagined this would be the reaction.
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The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
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Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.
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We haven't slept together. But we've napped
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I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.
Augusten Burroughs
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Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity.
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After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.
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I love you, she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.
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There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life with somebody.
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Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
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There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.
Augusten Burroughs
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What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
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This is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you.
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Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and try to get over it yourself, alone in your home with the lights off
Augusten Burroughs