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Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for me to accept it. To accept all the embarrassment and the shame so I don't feel like I used to.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Really
Edges
Teetering
Good
Shame
Deathly
Like
Childhood
Alcoholism
Accept
Embarrassment
Accepting
Hospital
Used
Hospitals
Feel
Ended
Feels
Edge

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Marriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting.
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Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.
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In the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the clouds from the splinters of what used to be their living room, it was over.
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We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.
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We haven't slept together. But we've napped
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I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.
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The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.
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Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.
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You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the most out of what life gives you and how to keep moving on.
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Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
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I don't think writers - in general - ever achieve the fame of movie stars. For the simple reason that only a fraction of the population reads. But I guess there are exceptions.
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My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and try to get over it yourself, alone in your home with the lights off
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Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw everybody else. You're not a bottle of Valium.
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The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.
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The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.
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Do not wait for the healing to arrive. It will never come. The holes will never leave or be filled with anything at all. But holes are interesting things.
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Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.
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As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?
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