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When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Times
Surprised
Someone
Cool
Many
Seven
Kind
Expect
People
York
Meet
City
Wacky
Cities
Hips

More quotes by Augusten Burroughs

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The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.
Augusten Burroughs
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I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father.
Augusten Burroughs
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All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know.
Augusten Burroughs
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I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can't learn one more thing.
Augusten Burroughs
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My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.
Augusten Burroughs
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Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
Augusten Burroughs
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This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.
Augusten Burroughs
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
Augusten Burroughs
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Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.
Augusten Burroughs
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I've learned how to turn the adversities in my life into enriching experiences. You can actually gain a lot from adversities and they make you the person you are today.
Augusten Burroughs
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God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was sincere. I knew that God existed as the Correct Answer inside my chest.
Augusten Burroughs
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I love you, she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.
Augusten Burroughs
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My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to what resided between his lines.
Augusten Burroughs
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What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
Augusten Burroughs
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
Augusten Burroughs
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Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life, not your past and not those around you. Part of being in control is taking responsibility for how you feel. This means not just admitting to uncomfortable feelings but then examining your circumstances to see what can be done to change these feelings at the source.
Augusten Burroughs
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You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.
Augusten Burroughs
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I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.
Augusten Burroughs
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Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
Augusten Burroughs
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I never listen to music when I write.
Augusten Burroughs