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Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Life
Cloths
Polishing
Decisions
Evidence
Decision
Beautiful
Thought
Care

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My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.
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It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
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Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch the school bus because I knew I'd trip and then get teased for a year.
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I think people might think, oh, I don't want to approach the big famous author because it's embarrassing, but then they think for two seconds about it and realize, this is, like, a toilet bowl reader.
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When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.
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After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.
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Other people sound flat to my ear their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.
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He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa.
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And I hope she does not live in a dark world. Because even the most terrible loss doesn't have to make you darker it can make you deeper.
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You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.
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The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths.
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The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.
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Writing has enriched my life in ways I never imaged.
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I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page.
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Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax.p28
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So that's what I'm here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven't felt since childhood. The kind of sadness you feel at the end of summer. When the fireflies are gone, the ponds have dried up and the plants are wilted, weary from being so green.
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My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens.
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Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.
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Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping.
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I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.
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