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Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw everybody else. You're not a bottle of Valium.
Augusten Burroughs
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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 58
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Else
Rely
Many
Pressure
Feel
Case
Valium
Feels
Positive
Screw
Good
Cases
Screws
People
Everybody
Bottle
Maybe
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More quotes by Augusten Burroughs
You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.
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I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband.
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It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
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As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?
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I realized I could really become hooked on these happy pills. They gave me a glorious feeling of general well-being and didn't make me fat, like alcohol. I wondered if there was any harm in being addicted to only these.
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If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.
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Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
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The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
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Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life.
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If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight.
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My only ritual is to just sit down and write, write every day.
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Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.
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You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the most out of what life gives you and how to keep moving on.
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The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.
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I've learned how to turn the adversities in my life into enriching experiences. You can actually gain a lot from adversities and they make you the person you are today.
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The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths.
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Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.
Augusten Burroughs
If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.
Augusten Burroughs
My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens.
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He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.
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