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And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Mind
Alcoholics
Never
Settling
Would
Alcohol
Issue
Drinking
Therefore
Cologne
Drink
Settles
Issues
Alcoholic

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Other people sound flat to my ear their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.
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My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to what resided between his lines.
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I've overcome a lot - sexual abuse, death of a loved one, bad parents and experienced life. My nature is such I not only survived all this but I have thrived. I've always been psychologically ambitious in that I've never been willing to settle emotionally for anything less then what's needed. I've wanted more then that from life.
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The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.
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Some damage is too severe, some harm endures. And what you have to do is accept it. And by accept it I mean, don’t be the paralyzed person in the bed who is waiting to walk again. Realize, it’s never gonna happen. And find some other way to get around –swing from a vine, get a Mad Max wheelchair. Anything but…wait.
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My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.
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I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.
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Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
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Tracy, the leader of the CDH group, looks at me with eyes that seem to belong to someone three times her age. It's something beyond wisdom, all the way to insanity and back. It's like her eyes are scarred from all the things she's seen.
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As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?
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My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens.
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I knew that if I wrote a new book every six months or every year, if I continued to read great books, eventually I would write something worthy of publication. I understood I might be in my forties or my fifties or even my sixties, but I felt confident that it would happen.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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Reading takes solitude and it takes focus.
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Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.
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What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
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Writing has enriched my life in ways I never imaged.
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There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life with somebody.
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I read a lot of science books - I love cosmology, quantum theory, particle physics. So my idea of a great read would probably put you directly into a coma.
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