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My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.
Augusten Burroughs
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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Makes
Feel
Feels
Like
Fogs
World
Fog
Car
Window
Outside
More quotes by Augusten Burroughs
I love you, she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.
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Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you and if so, what they're thinking.
Augusten Burroughs
I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.
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I'm always prepared for the worst.
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My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens.
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If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight.
Augusten Burroughs
Writing has enriched my life in ways I never imaged.
Augusten Burroughs
The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.
Augusten Burroughs
It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
Augusten Burroughs
There's a lot about being A Writer that has nothing to do with writing. That's one thing I've discovered. You've got to meet with the sales force, and you've got to have all these luncheons, and be gracious, and you've got to give a lot of presentations and you've got to give a lot of speeches, and you've got to be on tour.
Augusten Burroughs
When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.
Augusten Burroughs
When I first thought of being a writer I had visions of stacks of books in stores with my name on them, that sort of thing. But I never imagined this would be the reaction.
Augusten Burroughs
I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father.
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I've learned how to turn the adversities in my life into enriching experiences. You can actually gain a lot from adversities and they make you the person you are today.
Augusten Burroughs
Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch the school bus because I knew I'd trip and then get teased for a year.
Augusten Burroughs
Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.
Augusten Burroughs
What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
Augusten Burroughs
And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
Augusten Burroughs
God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was sincere. I knew that God existed as the Correct Answer inside my chest.
Augusten Burroughs
You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.
Augusten Burroughs
