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I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Like
Inside
Blinked
Single
Unmistakable
Loved
Eyelashes
Eyes
Printed
Word
Page
Happiness
Suddenly
Eye
Pages
White
Clean
Twitched

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Other people sound flat to my ear their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.
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All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know.
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I think people might think, oh, I don't want to approach the big famous author because it's embarrassing, but then they think for two seconds about it and realize, this is, like, a toilet bowl reader.
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The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.
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Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
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What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?
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Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
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To me, these people were as exotic as animals in a zoo. I'd never seen anything like them. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be one of them or simply live among them taking notes and photographs.
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He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.
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We haven't slept together. But we've napped
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My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.
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What I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee from the same mug. I don't want some rusty '73 Ford Pinto with a factory-defective gas tank that causes it to explode when it's rear-ended in the parking lot of the supermarket. So why do I keep looking for Pintos?
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I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.
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I realized I could really become hooked on these happy pills. They gave me a glorious feeling of general well-being and didn't make me fat, like alcohol. I wondered if there was any harm in being addicted to only these.
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You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.
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Tracy, the leader of the CDH group, looks at me with eyes that seem to belong to someone three times her age. It's something beyond wisdom, all the way to insanity and back. It's like her eyes are scarred from all the things she's seen.
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I love you, she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.
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Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.
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The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.
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Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.
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