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but I am not here ironically I am here sincerely.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Ironically
Sincerely

More quotes by Augusten Burroughs

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While I liked hamsters, too, the Habitrail cage was expensive. Even I could see that the interconnecting boxes, tubes, and spheres could easily bankrupt a family and lead to addiction later in life. Because, how would you know when to stop? How could you stop? An entire city could be built with a Habitrail.
Augusten Burroughs
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Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One person alone will surely miss the good ones.
Augusten Burroughs
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Reading takes solitude and it takes focus.
Augusten Burroughs
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There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person or in print. There is great freedom in not caring what other people think.
Augusten Burroughs
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Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch the school bus because I knew I'd trip and then get teased for a year.
Augusten Burroughs
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I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that.
Augusten Burroughs
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Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw everybody else. You're not a bottle of Valium.
Augusten Burroughs
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Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.
Augusten Burroughs
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I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.
Augusten Burroughs
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If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.
Augusten Burroughs
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I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.
Augusten Burroughs
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Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life, not your past and not those around you. Part of being in control is taking responsibility for how you feel. This means not just admitting to uncomfortable feelings but then examining your circumstances to see what can be done to change these feelings at the source.
Augusten Burroughs
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Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
Augusten Burroughs
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So that's what I'm here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven't felt since childhood. The kind of sadness you feel at the end of summer. When the fireflies are gone, the ponds have dried up and the plants are wilted, weary from being so green.
Augusten Burroughs
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I don't really think of my blog as a real blog. It's a lame blog. It's more like my when-the-mood-strikes update, or smoke signal.
Augusten Burroughs
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My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.
Augusten Burroughs
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And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
Augusten Burroughs
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Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.
Augusten Burroughs
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The dark side of blogging is, of course, people can be (and are) just savage and uncivilized, deeply cruel and fully unaccountable.
Augusten Burroughs
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After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.
Augusten Burroughs