Quote

Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Bird
Pilgrim
Created
Obstacle
Streets
Thanksgiving
Dead
Brief
Nothing
Forced
Way
Obstacles
Christmas
Detour
Street
Detours

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I think people might think, oh, I don't want to approach the big famous author because it's embarrassing, but then they think for two seconds about it and realize, this is, like, a toilet bowl reader.
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The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.
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I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what was going on in the present.
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Marriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting.
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I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father.
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I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in.
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Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.
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I've learned how to turn the adversities in my life into enriching experiences. You can actually gain a lot from adversities and they make you the person you are today.
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The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.
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I'm always prepared for the worst.
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Tracy, the leader of the CDH group, looks at me with eyes that seem to belong to someone three times her age. It's something beyond wisdom, all the way to insanity and back. It's like her eyes are scarred from all the things she's seen.
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I always tried to learn Greek, but all I got out of it was, poulaki mou. [My little chicken.]
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When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.
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I knew that if I wrote a new book every six months or every year, if I continued to read great books, eventually I would write something worthy of publication. I understood I might be in my forties or my fifties or even my sixties, but I felt confident that it would happen.
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But even with my minimal amount of fame, there are certain perks. Recently, I was at a movie premier, and at the party after the movie, Meryl Streep was loose, walking around the room like a normal person. Absolutely nothing was preventing me from lunging toward her and shrieking Dingoes ate my baby! Dingoes ate my baby!
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I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it.
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Most of us have love in our lives. Most of us love other people are are ourselves loved by others. But make no mistake: you are alone in the world. You were born alone, even if you were born conjoined. And you die alone, unable to bring a single person with you.
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Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them.
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