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In the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the clouds from the splinters of what used to be their living room, it was over.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Living
Roof
Rips
Used
Double
Tornado
Way
Staring
Dazed
Clouds
Splinters
Wide
Tornadoes
Leaving
Trailer
Room
Trailers
Rooms
Rip
Occupants

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Reading takes solitude and it takes focus.
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but I am not here ironically I am here sincerely.
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Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.
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It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
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I read a lot of science books - I love cosmology, quantum theory, particle physics. So my idea of a great read would probably put you directly into a coma.
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The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
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And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
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What I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee from the same mug. I don't want some rusty '73 Ford Pinto with a factory-defective gas tank that causes it to explode when it's rear-ended in the parking lot of the supermarket. So why do I keep looking for Pintos?
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There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person or in print. There is great freedom in not caring what other people think.
Augusten Burroughs
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Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life.
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I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.
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Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for me to accept it. To accept all the embarrassment and the shame so I don't feel like I used to.
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You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.
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Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
Augusten Burroughs
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I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't write every day, if that makes any sense. In other words, I email with my friends constantly and sometimes I'll pull out something I've written and save it.
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While I liked hamsters, too, the Habitrail cage was expensive. Even I could see that the interconnecting boxes, tubes, and spheres could easily bankrupt a family and lead to addiction later in life. Because, how would you know when to stop? How could you stop? An entire city could be built with a Habitrail.
Augusten Burroughs
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I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband.
Augusten Burroughs
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Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
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I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page.
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I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can't learn one more thing.
Augusten Burroughs