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I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.
Augusten Burroughs
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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Monkeys
Sea
Water
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Powdered
Packet
More quotes by Augusten Burroughs
It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover.
Augusten Burroughs
but I am not here ironically I am here sincerely.
Augusten Burroughs
I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God was simply that part of yourself that was always there and always strong, even when you were not.
Augusten Burroughs
I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.
Augusten Burroughs
This is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you.
Augusten Burroughs
He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.
Augusten Burroughs
Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One person alone will surely miss the good ones.
Augusten Burroughs
I felt a bottomless sadness. So completely alone. Like one of my stuffed animals at home that I was too old for now, that sat on the shelf in my closet, mashed against the back wall.
Augusten Burroughs
There's never a false note in a Berg novel.
Augusten Burroughs
You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.
Augusten Burroughs
The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.
Augusten Burroughs
I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.
Augusten Burroughs
Self-pity is the bestiality of emotions: it absolutely disgusts people. When you're feeling pity for yourself, and somebody says to you 'You think maybe it's time for the pity party to be over? You should stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to think positive,' it makes you wish you could saw their head off.
Augusten Burroughs
You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.
Augusten Burroughs
After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.
Augusten Burroughs
The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths.
Augusten Burroughs
Tracy, the leader of the CDH group, looks at me with eyes that seem to belong to someone three times her age. It's something beyond wisdom, all the way to insanity and back. It's like her eyes are scarred from all the things she's seen.
Augusten Burroughs
I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that.
Augusten Burroughs
When I first thought of being a writer I had visions of stacks of books in stores with my name on them, that sort of thing. But I never imagined this would be the reaction.
Augusten Burroughs
My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.
Augusten Burroughs