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your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood don't go there alone.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Unsafe
Neighborhood
Alone
Mind
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My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to what resided between his lines.
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I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.
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This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.
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Reading takes solitude and it takes focus.
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My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.
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The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.
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Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you and if so, what they're thinking.
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Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.
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All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know.
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I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what was going on in the present.
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As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?
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Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity.
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Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for me to accept it. To accept all the embarrassment and the shame so I don't feel like I used to.
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But even with my minimal amount of fame, there are certain perks. Recently, I was at a movie premier, and at the party after the movie, Meryl Streep was loose, walking around the room like a normal person. Absolutely nothing was preventing me from lunging toward her and shrieking Dingoes ate my baby! Dingoes ate my baby!
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I thought, I can't do advertising any more, so I was downloading all these PDF applications from community colleges. And I thought, I'll become a paramedic. I'll get a two-year associate degree, if I can get in.
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
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You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.
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I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband.
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