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your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood don't go there alone.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Unsafe
Neighborhood
Alone
Mind
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It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What then?
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Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
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I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.
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I'm always prepared for the worst.
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
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There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.
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I love you, she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.
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Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.
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He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa.
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I knew that if I wrote a new book every six months or every year, if I continued to read great books, eventually I would write something worthy of publication. I understood I might be in my forties or my fifties or even my sixties, but I felt confident that it would happen.
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This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.
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I don't think writers - in general - ever achieve the fame of movie stars. For the simple reason that only a fraction of the population reads. But I guess there are exceptions.
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The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths.
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If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight.
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I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God was simply that part of yourself that was always there and always strong, even when you were not.
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And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
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I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband.
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After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.
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Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.
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The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone: not to friends nor therapists not even in rehab when we were detailing our own personal spirals of shame did I confess. It is this: I am a graduate of the Barbizon School of Modeling.
Augusten Burroughs