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Other people sound flat to my ear their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Something
Hang
People
Ears
Air
Says
Sound
Curl
Words
Curls
Mother
Flat
Ends
Flats

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So that's what I'm here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven't felt since childhood. The kind of sadness you feel at the end of summer. When the fireflies are gone, the ponds have dried up and the plants are wilted, weary from being so green.
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Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
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I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that.
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I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.
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My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.
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I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it.
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God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was sincere. I knew that God existed as the Correct Answer inside my chest.
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We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.
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All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know.
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The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.
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Tracy, the leader of the CDH group, looks at me with eyes that seem to belong to someone three times her age. It's something beyond wisdom, all the way to insanity and back. It's like her eyes are scarred from all the things she's seen.
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I don't think writers - in general - ever achieve the fame of movie stars. For the simple reason that only a fraction of the population reads. But I guess there are exceptions.
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You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.
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There's never a false note in a Berg novel.
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Marriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting.
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I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't write every day, if that makes any sense. In other words, I email with my friends constantly and sometimes I'll pull out something I've written and save it.
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The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
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Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity.
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Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.
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If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.
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