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I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Consider
Areas
Genius
Mattered
Stars
Lacking
Quality
Area
Kind
Considered
Life
Deeply
Star

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I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.
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Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you and if so, what they're thinking.
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If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight.
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Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.
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My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.
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The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone: not to friends nor therapists not even in rehab when we were detailing our own personal spirals of shame did I confess. It is this: I am a graduate of the Barbizon School of Modeling.
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We haven't slept together. But we've napped
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I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father.
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You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the most out of what life gives you and how to keep moving on.
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This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.
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I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what was going on in the present.
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Writing has enriched my life in ways I never imaged.
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The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.
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I always tried to learn Greek, but all I got out of it was, poulaki mou. [My little chicken.]
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My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
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As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?
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Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
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This is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you.
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If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.
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