Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.
Augusten Burroughs
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Weren
Nice
Guy
Really
More quotes by Augusten Burroughs
Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.
Augusten Burroughs
I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.
Augusten Burroughs
You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.
Augusten Burroughs
I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page.
Augusten Burroughs
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping.
Augusten Burroughs
We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.
Augusten Burroughs
I don't really think of my blog as a real blog. It's a lame blog. It's more like my when-the-mood-strikes update, or smoke signal.
Augusten Burroughs
I missed him so much that I had physical sensations of loss, all over my body. Like one minute I was missing an arm, the next my spleen. It was making me feel sick, like throwing up.
Augusten Burroughs
I thought, I can't do advertising any more, so I was downloading all these PDF applications from community colleges. And I thought, I'll become a paramedic. I'll get a two-year associate degree, if I can get in.
Augusten Burroughs
If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class.
Augusten Burroughs
There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.
Augusten Burroughs
My subconscious does the writing I don't have control over that.
Augusten Burroughs
Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and try to get over it yourself, alone in your home with the lights off
Augusten Burroughs
your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood don't go there alone.
Augusten Burroughs
Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.
Augusten Burroughs
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in.
Augusten Burroughs
This is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you.
Augusten Burroughs
I never get sick of writing my own stories because there's a certain comfort in knowing you will never run out of material. It's relaxing, actually, to write.
Augusten Burroughs
Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
Augusten Burroughs
The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
Augusten Burroughs
