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I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Look
Rusty
Looks
Tuna
Many
Recycling
Different
Giant
Really
Giants
Shapes
Continue
Childhood
Recycle

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I never get sick of writing my own stories because there's a certain comfort in knowing you will never run out of material. It's relaxing, actually, to write.
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I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can't learn one more thing.
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Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
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The dark side of blogging is, of course, people can be (and are) just savage and uncivilized, deeply cruel and fully unaccountable.
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There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person or in print. There is great freedom in not caring what other people think.
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And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
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What I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee from the same mug. I don't want some rusty '73 Ford Pinto with a factory-defective gas tank that causes it to explode when it's rear-ended in the parking lot of the supermarket. So why do I keep looking for Pintos?
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I read a lot of science books - I love cosmology, quantum theory, particle physics. So my idea of a great read would probably put you directly into a coma.
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Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw everybody else. You're not a bottle of Valium.
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I felt a bottomless sadness. So completely alone. Like one of my stuffed animals at home that I was too old for now, that sat on the shelf in my closet, mashed against the back wall.
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There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.
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I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.
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Marriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting.
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You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.
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My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.
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Writing has enriched my life in ways I never imaged.
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This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.
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Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.
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If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight.
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I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that.
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