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I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.

Augusten Burroughs

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Augusten Burroughs
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 23
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Childhood
Recycle
Look
Rusty
Looks
Tuna
Many
Recycling
Different
Giant
Really
Giants
Shapes
Continue

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Other people sound flat to my ear their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.
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The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
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All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know.
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Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
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My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.
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Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life.
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.
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But then, look at me. My brain is incorrectly formed, and I'm shaped like a tube. Plus, I'm an alcoholic, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, was raised in a cult and have no education. So, really, if you think about it, the only thing that separates me from the guy with the stinky foot and no teeth is a book deal and some cologne.
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After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.
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Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
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Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax.p28
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You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the most out of what life gives you and how to keep moving on.
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But even with my minimal amount of fame, there are certain perks. Recently, I was at a movie premier, and at the party after the movie, Meryl Streep was loose, walking around the room like a normal person. Absolutely nothing was preventing me from lunging toward her and shrieking Dingoes ate my baby! Dingoes ate my baby!
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If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.
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Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.
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Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
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Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and try to get over it yourself, alone in your home with the lights off
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Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.
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Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
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This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.
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