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She looks up at me, still rocking. “Henry . . . why did me decide to do this again?” “Supposedly when it’s over they hand you a baby and let you keep it.” “Oh yeah.” --Wednesday, September 5, 2001
Audrey Niffenegger
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Audrey Niffenegger
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: June 13
Artist
Author
Novelist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
University Teacher
Visual Artist
Writer
South Haven
Michigan
Hand
Rocking
Keep
Supposedly
Hands
Wednesday
Stills
Henry
Still
September
Looks
Decide
Yeah
Baby
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He thanked her and left the house in the mood of a shipwrecked man who has allowed the rescue ship to pass him by.
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You can still be cool when you’re dead. In fact, it’s much easier, because you aren’t getting old and fat and losing your hair.
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There was only the cemetery itself, spread out in the moonlight like a soft grey hallucination, a stony wilderness of Victorian melancholy.
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Home sweet home. No place like home. Take me home, country roads. Home is where the heart is. But my heart is here. So I must be home. Clare sighs, turns her head, and is quiet. Hi, honey. I'm home. I'm home.
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My reflection in the mirror shows me pink and puffy. I thought pregnant women were to supposed to glow. I am not glowing.
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And Clare, always Clare.
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I feel that I an everything to her.
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Chaos is more freedom in fact, total freedom. But no meaning. I want to be free to act, and I also want my actions to mean something.
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Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust.
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I wish for a moment that time would lift me out of this day, and into some more benign one. But then I feel guilty for wanting to avoid the sadness dead people need us to remember them, even if it eats us, even if all we can do is say I'm sorry until it is as meaningless air.
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Think for a minute, darling: in fairy tales it's always the children who have the fine adventures. The mothers have to stay at home and wait for the children to fly in the window.
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I told Ing once that she dances like a German and she didn't like it, but it's true: she dances seriously, like lives are hanging in the balance, like precision dancing can save the starving children of India.
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In the dim light of the computer screen he seemed otherworldly Julia thought him beautiful, though she knew it was the beauty of damage.
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But you make me happy. It's living up to being happy that's the difficult part.
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I love. I have loved. I will love.
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Maybe I'm dreaming you. Maybe you're dreaming me maybe we only exist in each other's dreams and every morning when we wake up we forget all about each other.
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...and I suddenly feel that Henry is there, incredible need for Henry to be there and to put his hand on me even while it seems to me that Henry is the rain and I am alone and wanting him - Clare
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Mama said, Dreams are different to real life but important too.
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