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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Make
Fronts
Screwed
Girls
Agreed
Front
Censorship
Went
Waiting
Fathers
Girl
Curse
Father
Naked
Two
Wait
More quotes by Artie Lange
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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It's good to be alive.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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