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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Father
Naked
Two
Wait
Make
Fronts
Girls
Screwed
Front
Agreed
Went
Censorship
Waiting
Fathers
Girl
Curse
More quotes by Artie Lange
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange
I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Artie Lange
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange