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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Girls
Screwed
Front
Agreed
Went
Censorship
Waiting
Fathers
Girl
Curse
Father
Naked
Two
Wait
Make
Fronts
More quotes by Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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