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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
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Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
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More quotes by Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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