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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Community
Gross
Friends
Gay
Two
Straight
Nothing
Kissing
Way
Guys
Think
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People
Guy

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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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It's good to be alive.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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