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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Toby
Fight
Fighting
Christian
Maguire
Bale

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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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