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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Christian
Maguire
Bale
Toby
Fight
Fighting

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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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