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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Christian
Maguire
Bale
Toby
Fight
Fighting
More quotes by Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
Artie Lange
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Artie Lange
It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange