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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Maguire
Bale
Toby
Fight
Fighting
Christian

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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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It's good to be alive.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange