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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Drugs
Cool
Drug
Hate
Ems
More quotes by Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange