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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Ems
Drugs
Cool
Drug
Hate
More quotes by Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange