Quote

Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Rocks
Show
Write
Emmys
Shows
Chris
Two
Award
Real
Awards
Writing
Frank
Rock

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange