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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Tyson
Mike
Voice
Use
Ever
Would

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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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