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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Mike
Voice
Use
Ever
Would
Tyson

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange