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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Voting
Says
Women
Anything

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange