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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Says
Women
Anything
Voting

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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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It's good to be alive.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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