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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Reason
Heroin
Recommend
Wear
Effects
Kids

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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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