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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Reason
Heroin
Recommend
Wear
Effects
Kids

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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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It's good to be alive.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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