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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Accident
Accidents
Amazing
Kids
Good
Snort
Snorted
Heroin

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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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It's good to be alive.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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